From a thirteen year old me

Was I awake,

when my best friends betrayed me,

or was I asleep,

when my family made fun of me.

I stood there,

   quiet,

            when the words came,

                        I took it as punishment.

Maybe I did something

            wrong.

Maybe I deserved it,

            no.

They threw things,

called me names,

harassed me,

told me I didn’t belong.

Were they really my friends?

            maybe

                        once long ago.

They called me fat,

            Bossed me around,

                        Forgot I was there.

Only giving my siblings the love I yearned.

They only acknowledged me

            when I accomplished something my siblings couldn’t

Is this really a family?

Why can’t I scream?

            Yell,

                        Why can’t I say anything?

            Why do I just take the words?

                                    They hurt…

Would it be better,

            if I weren’t around?

If I could no longer hear,

            the words they spoke.

Would I be free?

Where is the light,

            that would set me free,

                        from the despair,

            I live

                        everyday of my life.